Back in the saddle - October 22, 2018
Hello internet world!
I'm revisiting my blog here to keep myself accountable for eating non-gluten things. Omg yesterday, Sunday October 21st, I ate and ate and I was a freaking black hole. Gluten, gluten free, my body didn't care. For now, I'm experiencing the gluten constipation. But also, in general, I also felt like total crap. Everything I put in my mouth, I KNEW it was a terrible decision but I did it anyways. So, yesterday, Elaina and Jonathan went with Chris so I had all day to myself. Oh and Lily was with Josh until about 4pm. So I'm just sitting here... Thinking of food... I wish I was one of those people that can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce 😢 My biggest I ever saw on the scale was 351lbs. That was when I started to see my PCP. The smallest I've been on her scale was 319lbs. So, while I was living at my mom's, I lost 32lbs. Since I've moved into my own place, I have no idea where I stand. I'm mainly basing things off of how I feel in my clothes and they're not getting any bigger so that tells me I haven't lost anything. Would be nice if I've plateaued, I just don't want to see a number bigger than 319 😨 So anyways, yesterday, I had the crock pot on all day with a turkey leg and the 15-bean-soup beans. Omg it tasted incredible! I had a small bowl because I had snacked so much throughout the day. I also ate a fudge pudding, a slice of pumpkin pie with cool whip. A slice of regular pepperoni pizza (regular as in "not gluten free"). I made myself tuna salad with crackers for lunch. But the best thing I had yesterday, besides dinner, was a Cuban sandwich rollup. Sounds weird, right? It was basically everything on a Cuban sandwich but with no bread.
PM Update: I made some broccoli chicken fettuccine Alfredo for dinner 😁 I used my rice noodles from the Asian section of the grocery store, Classico band does not use anything glutenous in any of their products, I seasoned my chicken tenders with some salt and garlic powder, and I finely chopped up some frozen broccoli. So delicious!! I thought I made a big enough bowl to have leftovers but nope! Lol
I'm revisiting my blog here to keep myself accountable for eating non-gluten things. Omg yesterday, Sunday October 21st, I ate and ate and I was a freaking black hole. Gluten, gluten free, my body didn't care. For now, I'm experiencing the gluten constipation. But also, in general, I also felt like total crap. Everything I put in my mouth, I KNEW it was a terrible decision but I did it anyways. So, yesterday, Elaina and Jonathan went with Chris so I had all day to myself. Oh and Lily was with Josh until about 4pm. So I'm just sitting here... Thinking of food... I wish I was one of those people that can eat whatever they want and not gain an ounce 😢 My biggest I ever saw on the scale was 351lbs. That was when I started to see my PCP. The smallest I've been on her scale was 319lbs. So, while I was living at my mom's, I lost 32lbs. Since I've moved into my own place, I have no idea where I stand. I'm mainly basing things off of how I feel in my clothes and they're not getting any bigger so that tells me I haven't lost anything. Would be nice if I've plateaued, I just don't want to see a number bigger than 319 😨 So anyways, yesterday, I had the crock pot on all day with a turkey leg and the 15-bean-soup beans. Omg it tasted incredible! I had a small bowl because I had snacked so much throughout the day. I also ate a fudge pudding, a slice of pumpkin pie with cool whip. A slice of regular pepperoni pizza (regular as in "not gluten free"). I made myself tuna salad with crackers for lunch. But the best thing I had yesterday, besides dinner, was a Cuban sandwich rollup. Sounds weird, right? It was basically everything on a Cuban sandwich but with no bread.
It has Serrano Ham from Publix (BEST HAM EVER), there's some thin turkey slices, slices of Spanish pork roast, a slice of cheese, and can't forget the pickle. It was just wow!
So, because of my terrible choices yesterday, I am 100% back on board with my gluten free lifestyle and I'm aware I need to stick to it. I made breakfast this morning which I don't always do mainly because I'm lazy in the mornings. I whisked up 3 scrambled eggs, 3 slices of turkey, a slice of cheese, and some salt and parsley.
So delicious! Proud of myself that I ate healthier. I'm assuming my day will be full of painful bowels, I deserve it for what I did yesterday. Thankfully I have no plans for today. I have appts Tues-Thur this week. I start work at Willis Towers Watson through Apex Systems employment agency on November 9th. I am peeved that I wasn't able to get into the October 22nd class (AKA starting today!) But Wed this week, I'll be going to the local Apex office to fill out I9 and W2 papers. I'll be getting paid weekly from the employment agency, not from WTW. This position is temporary but it could turn into a permanent position if I do an outstanding job. In the meantime, Jesse (mom's boyfriend) talked to his buddy named Will from the O'Reilly's Auto Parts in Riverview about any open positions I could temporarily fill and Will said they need a parts deliverer because the guy they have is about to have surgery and they need someone asap. I put in my application on Thursday and called Will that afternoon but I haven't heard anything back yet.
Money keeps getting tighter and I feel like I'm running out of air. Unemployment is telling me that I need to have been there for at least a year otherwise I'm ineligible. And I applied for cash assistance... They renewed my food assistance until the end of May next year and Medicaid is good until the end of next year, but they completely ignored my request for additional assistance. I just want to work again. It's weighing so heavy on my shoulders. I wish I could've found some kind of side hustle in the meantime while I'm unemployed. I really wish I could make people food from my apartment, sell it to my local apartment dwellers in the complex. I know there's rules for selling food without a license. There's some kind of Shepard's table rule... Idk what it's called, I think you're allowed to sell pies or produce... I'd wanna stick with something simple and cheap, ie: spaghetti or something similar. Then I would run into the people that only want it made a certain way, complaints, etc. I don't want to go through that. I just want to work again. I just want a paycheck. I'm freaking out today because Chris did work for one of his supervisors this weekend and he said he would pay for the kids' park for the next 2 weeks with that money, then he says he won't get that money til sometime today. Idk what the park is gonna do if I pay late. I don't want my kids kicked out of the park or to lose their place off the list and then I have to find another afterschool care once I start working again... I need the park. They work with the free lunch kids at school... I get a discounted rate. I don't wanna live paycheck to paycheck. I want discounts wherever I can find them. I just want to work again. I miss working everyday. I understand my purpose and reasoning for being on earth right now is my kids... But I feel like my life, personally, has no purpose. I'm just here. Not doing anything important. Not doing anything to contribute to society or my family. I hate this stagnation. I want to be busy, that'll stop me from eating, I'll have meaning again, and I'm excited because I've been told there'll be plenty of overtime! But Chris is threatening to bring the kids to Riverview after getting them from the park if I have to work til 8pm. Idk if I can work something out with my mom or Jesse about at least getting the kids on Monday or Tuesday, if I'm able to choose the days I can get overtime. Then Wed-Fri when Chris gets the kids, I'll have to work til 5 or maybe 6 so he's not complaining about sitting at my apt waiting for me.
I guess that's enough ranting. Sorry I'm going through a lot right now. But.... GI in the GI, AKA Gluten Intolerance in the Gastrointestinal Tract... Is back up and running. I hope I can keep up with this and keep track of what I eat daily. Happy eating and good mental health to you all.
Kayla Dobbins
Happy Eating! 🍗🍝🍴
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